People who have problems controlling their anger tend to have difficulty coping with pressures from the outside world and with other people, and the way these external stressors impact on them. Day to day problems, negative thoughts and beliefs, and interpersonal relationship problems are interrelated because an increase in stress-related tension also increases the likelihood of anger and aggression.
These people easily succumb to irritability and anger caused by the belief that life is unfair, and that someone has violated their strong internal standards of behaviour at one end of the continuum, and hostility and uncontrollable rage at the other.
Rage is caused by childhood situations where a person has been repeatedly criticised and humiliated and made to feel that they are neither worthy nor lovable. These wounds to the self over a long period of time become the trigger where people defend themselves against these negative feelings by mobilising extreme aggression to protect their repeated feelings of low self-worth.
There is a big difference between losing your temper because someone has violated your standards of housekeeping, order, driving competence or childrearing, and the potentially explosive and violent outbursts which are activated by jealousy, rejection, and in circumstances where one is fighting for ones life against punishing or destructive relationships.
All these anger problems have the same ingredients
- The way we interpret our experience.
- The way we recognise, express and control anger.
- The errors in communication with others.
During counseling we will examine the underlying causes of your anger and look at your deeper core beliefs and work on reversing these beliefs.
Image: Noël Zia Lee